Overcoming Overwhelm: Circle of Influence

Overcoming Overwhelm: Circle of Influence

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Worried? Anxious?

 

This FREE Circle of Influence workbook will help you identify what is within your control so that you can let go of what is not.

There are certain times in your life when you can feel such overwhelm that it seems impossible to quieten your thoughts for long enough to be able to see a way through.

Give yourself 20 minutes to complete this exercise to help you take back control.

It’s short and simple but very effective. It will help you identify what is within your control so that you can let go of what is not.

 

STEP 1: WHAT’S ON MY MIND?

Calmly consider a list of all the things that are contributing to your worries and feelings of overwhelm.

It could be worrying about running out of food, worry about someone you care about, what’s going to happen, the dentist appointment you cancelled but can’t reschedule yet, homeschooling, feeling tired, work issues, lack of work, financial worries, feelings of guilt etc.

ACTION: Take the time to write EVERYTHING down no matter how small, irrational or ridiculous it might seem right now. Emptying this list onto paper is a very effective way of clearing that incessant chatter in your head.

These are your WORRY ITEMS.


STEP 2: EXERCISE

In your workbook, on the Circle of Influence image (page 6) you’ll see a larger version of the 3 circles or sections pictured below.

CONTROL, INFLUENCE OR CONCERN

One by one assess each WORRY ITEM and decide if:

– It is within my control (CONTROL)
– I can influence (INFLUENCE)
– Everything else (CONCERN)

ACTION: Next, work through the list of WORRY ITEMS you prepared in STEP 1.

1. Circle of Control:
Do you have complete CONTROL over the worry item?
Can you resolve it on their own without needing anyone else’s help or input?
If so, write the Worry Item down within the first circle labelled “WITHIN MY CONTROL” and move onto the next item.

2. Circle of Influence: 
Do you have PARTIAL control or can you INFLUENCE the outcome of the worry item?
Can you partly resolve the worry item or can you influence the outcome through their actions or behaviour?
If so, write this item within the second circle labelled “I CAN INFLUENCE” and move onto the next worry on your list.

3. Circle of Concern: Everything else…
Is the worry item COMPLETELY OUTSIDE of your CONTROL INFLUENCE?
Is there nothing you can do or say that could directly impact this worry?
Write this item in the outside circle labelled EVERYTHING ELSE

Write each of your WORRY ITEMS in the circle that represents if you can CONTROL it, INFLUENCE it or it’s everything else (CONCERN).

S T E P 3 : T A K I N G  C O N T R O L

Once you’ve placed all of your ‘Worry Items’ in the circles, take a few moments to review your Circles of Influence.

ACTION: List the worry items you DO have CONTROL over and IDENTIFY an ACTION,however small, for each item.

TIP: It’s helpful to action ONE of these today…or even RIGHT NOW, to help you instantly feel better.

STEP 4: PLANNING TO INFLUENCE

Now, let’s review the items you have INFLUENCE / PARTIAL control over:

ACTION: Write down what steps you will take and exactly when you will do them – today or in the next few days.

STEP 5: LETTING GO

Finally…and most importantly…

 LET GO of EVERYTHING ELSE!

QUESTION:  How does it FEEL to LET GO of things you have no CONTROL over?

TIP: After striking out the Everything Else items, you could cut out around the edge of the grey INFLUENCE circle. Then keeping the CONTROL and INFLUENCE circles, scrunch or tear up the rest of the page and put Everything Else in the bin. This is a powerful way to LET GO.

Grab the gorgeous free workbook here.

Perfectly Imperfect

Perfectly Imperfect

Embracing imperfections helps you enjoy life more

While we’re all spending more time at home during lockdown and restrictions, most of us are probably spending even more hours scrolling on social media.

So you can’t have helped but notice how almost everyone online is striving to be perfect. Suddenly you can’t post a selfie without filters or enjoy your dinner before showing off your fabulously curated plate of food. I’ve even seen dogs who are better groomed and accessorized than I am!

Thankfully there seem to be a growing number of people online who refreshingly now show their before and after pics.

As in:

Photo #1:  This is what I look like on Instagram, in a pose that’s likely to put my back out any second now, with as many added filters and edits as my fancy app allows. BTW it took me 103 photos to get this perfect shot.

Photo #2:  And this is what I actually look like 5 seconds before or after the perfect photo with my very normal tummy roll, some cellulite and what looks like a double-chin because I wasn’t quite camera ready.

If only these people didn’t feel they still need to show off the ‘perfection’ images, but they’re taking a huge step in the right direction.

But what if you just decided to take a step away from all the competition, all that clamouring for likes, comments, shares and hearts?

Or even better, what if you chose to actually enjoy your life without sharing it with the world?

Here’s how you can start to reclaim your life and become happier.

 

Stop judging

You can decide right now to stop analysing other people, looking for what’s wrong with their face, their body, their outfit or their life choices. Refocus your attitude, so you stop seeing differences as flaws but merely as something that makes that person unique.

Just let go of the urge to criticise others, and you’ll notice a flow-on effect on how you see yourself and self-judge less.

 

Accept your imperfections

Wanting to be the best version of you isn’t the same as being a perfectionist.

A perfectionist is never happy with who they are, how they look, or how they’re doing.

Being your best means you work hard, you try, and you don’t give up. But it doesn’t mean you blame yourself when things aren’t perfect, and you don’t take failure personally.

 

Relax and enjoy the process

Perfectionists tend to trip over every little detail and allow imperfections to spoil their lives. When you embrace imperfection as a natural part of life, it frees you up to enjoy the ride.

Obstacles become challenges that make life more enjoyable. You can slow down and notice all the good things there are in your life.

 

Adopt imperfection as a way of life

Perfection implies stasis, something you achieve and have to tend. It’s fragile and vulnerable. It puts an end to growth. And then what? You don’t want to stop learning and growing and developing, do you?

Once you make peace with imperfection, you can be a lot more objective about life. Your perspectives changes, and what once seemed overwhelmingly important suddenly doesn’t matter so much.

Imperfection stops being something to avoid at all costs. All experiences become just another aspect of a life lived richly, that help build the person you are continually becoming.

Embracing imperfection means there’s always an opportunity to learn and grow and become a better person.

The best version of you.

My Must-Have Budget Skincare Products

My Must-Have Budget Skincare Products

My Beauty Regime

*This page contains affiliate links which could earn me a small commission if you visit a link and buy something on my recommendation. Purchasing via an affiliate link doesn’t cost you any extra, and I only recommend products and services I have used and trust. All opinions are my own. For more details see my disclosure policy and privacy policy.

Over the years I have tried MANY skincare products.

I’ve also had quite a few salon treatments… IPL, CACI, microdermabrasion, light glycolic peels… to name but a few.

I’ve also had a few teeny tiny doses of botox and fillers but I eased back when I overdid it. I want to look rested, not 10 years younger. Okay, maybe sometimes I wouldn’t mind looking 10 years younger!

I worked in duty free beauty for a time and was lucky to be able to try all sorts of discounted products and samples there.

So I’ve used oils, I’ve used masks, I’ve tried rich creams and lighter than light serums and I’ve spent 12 fortunes in the process. Normally without any noticeably significant results.

MY CONFUSED / COMBINATION / EVER-CHANGING SKIN TYPE

I’ve never had particularly good skin, but it’s never been particularly troublesome either.

My skin used to be normal and at times quite dehydrated. I mistook the dehydration for dry skin but when I switched to richer creams for dry skin they just sat in a heavy layer on top of my skin.

But recently my skin, thanks to HRT, seems to have completely changed! I’d say it’s now normal to oily but still prone to a few drier patches. I’ve always had quite open pores but now I tend to get some oily congestion in my pores around my nose and chin. I’m trying to convince myself that this increasing oiliness will help me ward off advanced signs of aging. Here’s hoping!

So no-one is more surprised than me that after all my years of investment and ‘research’, now that I’m in my advancing years (just turned 48), I’ve shunned most of the expensive products and treatments for low-end, budget buys.

 

NOTHING ORDINARY ABOUT THE ORDINARY

Fairly new to my skincare regime but The Ordinary products are all over the media with rave recommendations. I’ve already recommended them to friends who have enthusiastically incorporated them into their beauty regimes too.

These products are cheap as chips! The packaging is basic but simple. The products work. At first glance you might worry that you’ll need a science degree to work out which ones you need for your own particular skin type and concerns but the website gives super detailed recommendations in their Regimen Guide.

 

 

On my Not-so-Ordinary list at the moment are:

Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1%

This works on the surface of the skin and has exfoliating properties. Niacinamide is a form of vitamin B3 which is a brilliant oil regulator. I use this daily each morning to help clear pores and congestion and I swear I can almost feel it tightening my pores but it does that without leaving my skin feeling taut.


Salicylic Acid 2% Solution

This miracle treatment is so good that it’s sold out across the UK at the moment. I’m already on a waiting list to stock up again as soon as it’s available. Salicylic Acid digs deep into congested pores, dissolving sebum so I apply it when I have blemishes or breakouts to target and reduce any redness and inflammation.


Caffeine Solution 5% + EGCG

I don’t function without a coffee in the mornings. And my eyes don’t function without their own caffeine hit from this miracle shot! This is a really light liquid with a super high concentration of caffeine which helps reduce puffiness and dark circles.


Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5

Hyaluronic Acid is good for all skin types. It’s amazing for its hydrating properties, especially as our skin ages, because it draws in and retains moisture and plumps up your skin from the inside out. It also has antioxidant properties.


Glycolic Acid 7% Toning Solution

I bought this while the Salicylic Acid was sold out and I’ll be keeping it forever thank you very much!

Glycolic Acid is a mild chemical exfoliant which removes dead skin cells. Not only does this help your skin look radiant but it helps with skin texture too.

I only use this at night-time as it Glycolic Acid can interfere with the effectiveness of your SPF. And as it’s an AHA which can increase your skin’s sensitivity to the sun, you must, must, must wear sunscreen when using this.

 

I do buy some other brands too!


MY NUMBER ONE PRODUCT: Aldi Lacura Q10 Multi-Intensive Serum

Top of the list, if I could only have one product then this would be it, ALDI Lacura Q10 Multi-Intensive Serum. It’s so good that I stock up in the UK and get friends to ship it over to me here in Spain when I’m running low. Which I rarely allow happen. 

This is absorbed into the skin in seconds. It disappears without leaving any trace on the skin and leaves skin feeling plump and moisturised. Even better, it doesn’t pill under my SPF.
I’ve lost count on how many friends I’ve converted to this. Try it, it’s gorgeous. And costs £2.99!!

La Roche-Posay Anthelios SPF50+

Can I have 2 number one products??

This is a little bit more expensive than the rest on the list but it’s worth every penny.

The one product I religiously use throughout the year is La Roche-Posay Anthelios SPF50+.  There’s also a Tinted Fluid but I use the Invisible formula.

I’ve tried other SPFs but I ALWAYS come back to this and now I don’t even bother trying any others.

I have bad pigmentation from sun damage acquired during a few carefree summers in Greece where SPF came WAY down the shopping list after cheap food and drinks.

So my La Roche Posay Anthelios SPF50+ helps protect against any further damage and aging. I wear it EVERY DAY. Even in winter.

It is light, it sinks in quickly, it provides an even base under makeup and it offers amazing protection.

 

How to apply all these luscious layers

I apply the products in the order they appear up above but I do have a post on how to Layer Your Skincare Products Like A Pro which might help you demystify all the mind-baffling recommendations for the sequence of skincare product application

After The Ordinary beauties, I use my Aldi Lacura Q10 Serum then top off with the La Roche Posay Anthelios SPF50+ and I rarely even apply moisturiser these days, only when I feel I need it.

I can hear the beauticians amongst you gasp…no moisturiser? But my skins looks and feels not too shabby for a just-turned 48 year old with insomnia going through an early menopause and many sleepless nights.

And it’s all super healthy for the bank balance too!

So if it’s not broken….

Free Resources

Free Resources

Resources & Tools

Here are links to some of my favorite resources and tools

*This page contains affiliate links which could earn me a small commission if you visit a link and buy something on my recommendation. Purchasing via an affiliate link doesn’t cost you any extra, and I only recommend products and services I have used and trust. All opinions are my own. For more details see my disclosure policy and privacy policy.

WEBSITE


Hosting: Siteground

There are many, many hosting options available. But after trying to swot up on hosting and reading a LOT of reviews, I chose to go with Siteground for my hosting.  I was particularly impressed with their level of customer support any time I needed it. Which, let’s face it, as a complete novice starting out, was quite a bit to start with!
The dashboard is straightforward, they have lots of training and information resources and customer service is great.                
And they’re currently offering 3 months of hosting for €0.99!

Domain name: Dynadot

There are lots and lots of places to purchase your domain name. If you’ve already chosen your Host, you can normally buy your domain name from there. I bought my recent domains from Dynadot who also offer an easy-to-use website builder.

Before that I was with GoDaddy and I was happy with the service provided there. GoDaddy also offer a website builder and hosting.

 

Website creation: WordPress

Create a free website or blog with WordPress.

Yes, WordPress is FREE. And it also has a vast selection of FREE themes and plugins available to customise your website design and functionality.

The guides, help, video tutorials to help you set up and customise your website seem endless. And you’ll find a million and one additional guides in any Google search. So it’s pretty easy to find your way around this one. Even for me!

Download it from WordPress.org if you’re self-hosting. Or choose a hosted service at WordPress.com

 

WordPress Theme: Divi

The Divi Theme from Elegant Theme is the ultimate visual page builder. This website building visual editor gives you the framework to design and customise every part of your website without needing to know a single line of code. The Divi home page claims “Divi changes everything”. It really does!

DESIGN

Visual Content: Canva

Canva makes graphic design easy and fun, even for beginners. Canva have so many slick professionally designed templates ready for you to customise or you can create your own. They have a free version which is fab but when I upgraded to the paid Canva Pro version it gave me access to even more design templates, photos and the time-saving, life-changing Brand Kit.  

 

Creative Market is another site I use a lot for their huge range of fonts, graphics, templates, photos and themes. They’re all very affordable. Not only that but they send you an option of six free goods every week. And you earn bonus credits when you buy.

 

BeFunky  is an Image Editor which I use mainly to edit and resize photos.      

You’ll want to compress PDFs too. IlovePDF is a fab, free tool which does that in seconds.  


Free Photos:

Unsplash                         Pixabay                                Pexels                  

Apart from a handful of images I’ve taken myself, I get all my images from these three sites as they have vast libraries of freely usable images.            

They
SOCIAL MEDIA POSTING

Tailwind is a social media scheduling tool that helps you grow on Pinterest and Instagram. Not only will it save you a huge amount of time in scheduling your pins, you can grow your reach with Tailwind Communities and it gives you really useful analytics so you can see what’s working. Sign up for a free trial.


GROWING YOUR EMAIL LIST 
Email marketing service provider: Flodesk

Flodesk really does have it all. Beauty and brains. It’s both gorgeous and super easy, allowing you to create stunning the most  stunning emails, forms, workflows and to help you grow your business. They even have their very own ‘University’ to help you learn.

Flodesk have a really generous sign up offer. New users get 50% off for your whole first year.

But until 2 November, Flodesk has an amazing offer giving new users unlimited emails and subscribers with 50% off for the lifetime of your subscription! It’s normally $38 per month but with this link you can snap it up for only $19! Forever. Snap it up!

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